Boulder Couples Therapy
Rebuild, Reconnect, and Revive your Relationship
I can do nothing for you but work on myself. You can do nothing for me but work on yourself.
— Ram Dass
Does Your Relationship Feel Stuck in Conflict or Stunted by Pain?
Do you feel like you're trapped in having the same fight over and over again? Or has the communication stopped entirely?
Maybe you are sharing a life but not really living it together anymore. The pain and loneliness inside a disconnected relationship can be agonizing.
Has the weight of relationship conflict, betrayal, or discord pushed you to consider separation or divorce?
Relationships naturally ebb and flow, but when your connection falters and you feel alone or pushed away in relationship, it can feel like you’ve lost your emotional anchor. Whether your bond has quietly unraveled over time or stress, arguments, and mismatched values have driven a wedge between you, the experience of being misunderstood or unheard can be exhausting and overwhelming.
You may be asking yourself now: How did we get here? Is it too late to come back from this? You can give your relationship the support it needs in couples therapy. Relationship counseling supports partners to nurture their relationships, deeply understand their partner, and engage in changing harmful patterns of relationship.
Relationships Need Care and Attention to Thrive
Perhaps you’re preparing to get married and feeling anxious about this commitment or nervous about recurring patterns you’ve started to notice. Or your children, careers, or other responsibilities might be at the forefront of your life and, as a result, your relationship has quietly slipped down the priority list.
It could also be that the rupture was more sudden—a breach of trust, an argument that left scars, or a betrayal that’s shaken the foundation of your relationship. Maybe one of you carries guilt while the other holds pain, and silence has become a form of protection. Sometimes conflict serves as the only form of connection or communication a couple can access; often fighting indicates depth of care and love rather than disregard and disdain.
Whether you’re stuck in a cycle of conflict or simply missing the closeness you once had, there is a way forward. Couples counseling offers a supportive place to reconnect, repair, and rediscover the strength of your relationship. I am an experienced and highly trained couples therapist, and can support the healing and evolving of your relationship.
Reach Out Today!
Even The Strongest Relationships Face Challenging Times
Romantic partnerships often bear the weight of life’s most intense transitions. Sharing a life together is intensely fulfilling; but also brings up rifts of money, sex, mess, parenting, and values. Even the most loving relationships have to quest for balance of two different people’s expectations and relationship styles. Some relationships are confronted with deep strains from illness, an affair, empty-nesting, or addiction. Strong bonds can quietly chip or dramatically explode. Yet many of us hesitate to seek help.
According to relationship expert John Gottman, most partners wait an average of six years before reaching out for support. By that time hurtful dynamics have often taken root and misunderstandings can become recurring patterns.1
The longer these issues go unaddressed, the more difficult it may feel to find your way back to emotional closeness. Negative patterns can become entrenched and our narratives about our partner or the relationship itself solidify. But just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean your relationship is broken.
The Sacred Mirrors That Lead us Towards Secure Attachment
Relationships have a magical ability to bring out intense emotions of love and safety, as well as anger and hurt. In couples therapy we identify and explore your relationship’s unique negative cycle, using this as a map to more deeply understand our partner and ourselves. In identifying the emotions our partner brings out in us, we find a pathway towards our own healing. The gift of this deep relational healing is a secure relationship; one where you feel cared for and understood.
Few of us received a roadmap for healthy emotional expression. Many people grew up in homes where vulnerability was discouraged or where arguments were the norm. So we enter adult relationships without the understanding and tools for healthy, connected, secure partnership. Relationships take work, skills, and a willingness to cultivate honest communication, conflict resolution, and articulate our needs. It’s no wonder even well-meaning partners fall into cycles of blame, avoidance, or resentment.
But you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. Couples therapy offers a space where both partners can feel heard and understood, free from judgment or blame. With the right guidance and a shared willingness to grow, healing, clarity, and a renewed sense of partnership are possible.
Couples Therapy Can Help You Rebuild Trust, Communication, And Connection
Even if your relationship feels strained or disconnected, that doesn’t mean it’s beyond repair. As a couples therapist, I offer a warm, neutral, supportive space where you can learn to understand each other, and yourself, more deeply. In our work together, I’ll help you identify not just where things go wrong, but where your strengths lie—and how to build on them.
I usually begin the first session meeting with both of you as we explore the concerns that led you to therapy and begin mapping out the patterns that keep you stuck. Later, I will also meet with each of you individually to get a clearer picture of your personal history, values, past relationships, and what you hope for moving forward.
This helps me assess your relationship dynamic and tailor the treatment process to your unique story so we can set goals that feel meaningful for both of you.
Exploring The Patterns of Conflict and Disconnection That Keep You Apart
Underneath repeating patterns of conflict are real emotions—like fear, sadness, longing, and unmet needs—that often go unspoken. Together, we’ll slow things down and look at what’s really happening beneath the surface of your arguments or silence.
As I guide you through the process of understanding and naming these deeper emotions, instead of reacting in the protective ways you may have needed to in other relationships in your life, you will learn to increase awareness, respond with greater compassion, and heal old wounds that may be surfacing in a connected, attachment relationship. Over time, you’ll begin to see your partner not as an adversary but as someone who’s also struggling to feel safe, loved, or understood.
Through rebuilding trust and sharing your vulnerabilities, new pathways for connection can begin to form. Along the way, you’ll also learn practical tools for healthy communication and decision-making that support your long-term goals as a couple.
Therapeutic Approaches That Foster Real Change
I primarily use Internal Family Systems from the Inside Out (IFIO), a parts therapy led process that supports couples to build compassionate awareness of their own protective reactions and vulnerable exiles that are being engaged and activated in relationship. Through exploring the interplay of your own systems while holding space for your partner’s deep inner process, couples are able to increase compassion for their partner while engaging in their own healing work in relationship. Richard Schwartz refers to relationship as a Sacred Mirror, or, more humorously, as our Tor-Mentor, the person who reflects our unhealed parts through the torment of conflict or activation. Our work invites a clarity of self and our own healing work, as well as increased availability of understanding and courageous communication in relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a research-based approach that helps couples identify their negative interaction cycles and create new patterns rooted in emotional safety and responsiveness. Through EFT, you’ll learn to recognize how your reactions are shaped by deeper feelings—and how those feelings can be expressed in ways that lead to closeness instead of conflict.
The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), a therapeutic process that combines neuroscience research, attachment theory, and nervous system regulation to support relationships towards secure attachment. This method incorporates somatic awareness and interventions and emotional attunement
Psychedelic-Assisted Couples Therapy is an approach for couples wishing to go deeper in their therapeutic journey together. If your relationship feels particularly stuck and you are ready to soften, open, and turn a corner, psychedelic assisted therapy may be right for you. Perhaps you are filled with cognitive understanding of your partner’s position, but in the moment holding on to empathy or compassion is challenged by your own emotions and viewpoints. Psychedelic therapy offers a glimpse into your own reactions, as well as your partner’s reactions and pain points, with an increase in capacity and deepened, mystical experience of your own self, your partner, and the relationship itself.
I also draw from the Gottman Method, which focuses on strengthening the friendship at the core of your relationship. This modality offers concrete tools for resolving conflict, making space for both partners’ needs, and building a shared life filled with meaning and mutual respect.
Whether you’re hoping to reduce arguments, prepare for marriage, or reconnect after betrayal, couples counseling can give you a more secure foundation for love to grow. You will learn real-world tools for creating rituals to build harmony and a bridge of trust, empathy, and appreciation for each other.
You May Still Be Wondering If Couples Therapy Is Right For You...
We aren’t married yet, but I think couples counseling may be beneficial for us.
I love working with couples who are engaged or preparing for a deeper commitment. Early support can help you build healthy foundations before you make a long-term commitment. Together, we can explore how you can express your emotions openly, understand each other’s needs, and develop habits that promote real trust, connection, and mutual care. It’s never too early to start creating the kind of relationship you want to grow into.
What if I’m open to counseling, but my partner isn’t?
Some people are uncomfortable discussing personal topics with a stranger or may doubt that therapy can help. Others feel that they may be blamed for problems in the relationship. I can promise you that I will never take sides because I want you to be able to make meaningful progress.
However, if your spouse doesn’t want to participate in couples counseling, I offer Relationship Therapy for One, which focuses on helping you shift relationship patterns by yourself. Research from the University of Denver shows that this solo approach can be just as effective as couples therapy when one person is committed to change.(2)
Can therapy support us in a non-traditional relationship?
Yes. Whether you're exploring consensual non-monogamy, already in a polyamorous relationship, or redefining your connection in your own unique way, therapy can offer clarity, support, and a place to grow. You may be reflecting on what intimacy, commitment, and honesty mean for you or seeking guidance on how to navigate those conversations with openness and care.
Healthy non-traditional partnerships thrive on communication, shared values, and emotional safety. As a trained couples counselor, I provide a nonjudgmental space to help you and your partner(s) express needs, resolve tension, and strengthen your relationship structure—whatever that may look like. Together, we can support your evolution toward a relationship that aligns with your values and beliefs.
You Can Restore Your Connection And Intimacy
If you want to reduce conflict, improve communication, or rekindle the spark at the heart of your relationship, couples therapy can help you build the foundation for a lasting partnership. For a free, 20-minute consultation, please contact me.
1 - https://www.gottman.com/blog/timing-is-everything-when-it-comes-to-marriage-counseling/
2 - https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052970203458604577263303967929424
Schedule a Free Consultation
Letting someone into the inner world of your relationship relies on working with a therapist you feel comfortable and relaxed with. Reach out to schedule your free 20 minute consultation.
